You're Jokin', Right?

     About four months ago, I went in for my regular teeth cleaning with my favorite dentist in the whole wide world, Dix Densley.  He's warm and friendly and a sweetheart of a guy.  I've always had a positive diagnosis at the end of every visit with him (no cavities, woo-hoo!) but on this particular occasion, the look on his face told me otherwise.  I will remember those fateful words, etched into my brain, "I'm sorry to say this but... you're gonna have to get your wisdom teeth taken out."  My response, "You're jokin' right?"  And before I had a chance to put up a protest, Dr. Dix Densley and DJ started plotting out my dental demise.  When the deal was done, I had an appointment with an oral surgeon named, Dr. White or Dr. Green or Dr. Brown.  I forget.  I was in such disbelief and shock, I couldn't think straight.  And in the immortal taunting sounds of Nelson Muntz: (Bart Simpson reference), I heard DJ's comical cartoony nasally laughter emanating from near the front desk: "Ha-Ha!!!". :P

     I must have cancelled and rescheduled at least a half a dozen times.  I totally did not want to get my wisdom teeth taken out.  Unfortunately, it needed to be done cause my right one was already erupting.  I wasn't in pain, I argued, but I was feeling a bit of steady pressure every time I ate.  Plus, Densley told me that the longer I wait, the worst it'll get.  He told me how bacteria can easily enter down into the root area and rot away the tooth as well as those adjacent to it.  Yadda, yadda, yadda.  Ugh.  Can't let that happen now, can I?  So... the date was finally set: Jan 3rd, there's no turning back.  Oh, and just to clarify, perhaps I'm a bit masochistic I dunno, but I'm NOT at all afraid of the "pain" of surgery but rather, I'm deathly afraid of being "put under" and not being able to wake up from surgery.  That's why I opted for a local rather than a general anesthesia.  Anyhoo, on with the story.  

     I walked into the oral surgeon's office today @ 1:15pm.  I had my whole family with me for moral support.  I sat down with the boys while DJ handled the paperwork, co-pays, etc.  I was a bit nervous/anxious but I tried to put on a brave face for the boys cause I didn't want them to worry about me.  As soon as  I sat down, the nurse called me in.  The boys said, "I love you, mommy", and I waved good-bye to them as they headed out the door.  (We decided it was better to take the boys out than to make them wait in the dentist's office.)

     Molly, the nurse, took me to exam room 3 and started taking my temp and my blood pressure.  98.2 F and 101/78.  I was good to go. <deep-breath>  Just then, Dr. _Green_ enters and gets down to business.  He was trying to make small talk while putting on the topical anesthetic.  Now that the back of my jaw was slightly numb, he then takes out this needle.  I'm not usually afraid of needles but this one forced me to do a double-take.  He calmly and effortlessly sticks that Novocain needle into the crevice of my left jaw and then slowly injects the anesthetic solution in.  He grabs a new needle and repeats the procedure into my right jaw.  In fact, he did this a total of SIX times. Left and right. Left and right.  I kid you not.  Three on each side.  And to my surprise, it was all totally pain-free.  Go me. :)  He then instructs me to relax a bit while the Novocain took effect.  (about 10 minutes) By the time, Dr. Green re-enters the room, my whole lower jaw was completely numb.  I couldn't feel my bottom lip or the entire right side of my face.  It's a really funny sensation and I do get a kick out of it.  In fact, so much so, that the nurse had to wipe the drool dribbling down the corner of my mouth. D'oh!  hee-hee!

    Dr. Green asked me if I could feel anything.  I said, "Nope."  And then he simply said, "Well then, let's begin."  He had a very calming, soothing voice and he kinda looked like Gomez from the Addams family but with glasses.  Oh, and speaking of glasses, (this is the gruesome part!!!)  I got to watch the whole entire operation through the reflection on his glasses.  It was so COOL!  OK, so before I continue, I must warn all readers that this will get GROSS and GORY.  If you are faint of heart, then skip to the bottom of the page. heh-heh-heh.

     I watch him take a ten-blade and slice through the bottom half of my lower left gum, about a centimeter cut in the form of a reverse L-shape.  The blood started to gush out a bit and the assistant rinsed and suctioned out the area.  He then retracted the gum to expose the underlying wisdom tooth.  It was very white and very shiny and very square.  Dr. Green next grabs the electric saw.  Yes, folks, I said electric saw.  He hold it perpendicular to the tooth and warns me about the loud whirling/buzzing sound.  It just sounded like a drill to me.  He then applies firm pressure down on the tooth.  This was the only time during the whole process that I felt a bit of pain.  He was literally pressing down on the mandibular(?) nerve, ick.  I then felt the tooth split in two.  He takes some tweezer-looking device and tries to wiggle out one-half section of the tooth but it wouldn't budge.  In fact he even told me that the left one was going to be the harder of the two.  (I was born with only two wisdom teeth, lucky me!)  It was hard to get that little sucker out.  He had to go in with the saw again and this time I swore he cut into the tooth again either parallel to the tooth or again at a perpendicular angle.  He uses his tweezers and then told me that I would hear a loud crack.  And I did.  I heard him crack my tooth in two.  The crack vibrated down to my jaw line.  It didn't hurt but the thought of him cracking my tooth in half made me a bit queasy.  He then yanked on it hard, and kinda rocked it back and forth in the socket.  Then I finally felt it sliding out of my jaw.  It was LONG!  About an inch!  And the other half which was kinda stuck but finally gave way and got yanked out.  It was just as long as the first half.  With the tooth out of the way, he goes in with this scraper tool and completely hollows out the area.  I could feel the tool scraping against the other tooth and it sounded like sandpaper.  The assistant had to suction out more blood and pieces of gum tissue.  When she filled the hole with water, it made a bloody little pool inside my mouth.  One quick swish with the suction tool and most of the blood got sucked away.  Now with a clear view of the big gaping hole in my mouth, Dr. Green takes a needle and proceeds to suture up my gums.  He slides the thin curved needle into one side of the socket and lines it up with the other side.  Then with the precision skill of a seamstress, he puts my gums back together again.  I think he put in 2 or 3 stitches on my left side.  He doesn't waste any time and moves onto my RIGHT wisdom tooth.

     My right wisdom tooth was the one that was already erupting.  He repeats the same procedure on my right side as he the did with the left.  I watch him slice through along the bottom of the gum line in a perfect L-shape cut.  For some reason, there was more blood oozing out of the right side than the left.  He had his assistant rinse and suction again.  He slowly peeled away the top of the gum to expose the tooth underneath.  Again, it was a perfect pearl-y white specimen of a tooth.  He asked how I was doing and all I could do was grunt, "Uh-huh."  He grabs his electric saw again and lines it up perpendicular to my tooth and begins to hack away at my tooth.  Ugh, I could feel the pain from the pressure as he's pushing down on my tooth.  I could feel the shards and bits n' pieces of enamel shrapnel flying against the inside of my mouth.  He puts down the saw and grabs the tweezer tool from the tray.  He told me that I was going to hear a squeaky sound and then a loud crack.  And indeed, I did.  With a quick tug, he yanked out half of my right tooth with ease.  He immediately dives back down and retrieves the other half.  He notices that the second half root was slightly smaller than the first half.  He wanted to check to make sure that all the pieces of my tooth were removed from the socket.  I didn't really like this tool, it's the scraper tool and it's a scratchy almost reminiscent of something like fingernails-on-chalkboard sensation.  Ick.  Then when he's satisfied that nothing was left behind, he asks his assistant to wash up the whole bloody mess.  It was like a war zone with all the blood, and saliva, and bits of gum tissue, and shards of tooth pieces all over the place. With 2 or 3 quick sutures, he was done.  It was over.  Hallelujah!  The nurse comes back in to re-take my temperature, heart rate and blood pressure just to make sure that I was ok from the whole procedure.  98.3 F, 76 bpm, 111/73.  It was over. <whew!>

       I made my post-op appointment in 10 days and then I walked into the waiting room to anticipate the arrival of my kiddies.  They arrived shortly and gave me a big hug (they went to check out the new and improved Chuck E. Cheese's down the street, lucky boys!) and then DJ drove us all home.  While they had pizza, I had a bowl of cream of wheat instead.  Right now I'm currently drugged up on cephalexin and percocet.  Mmmm, drugs. It's a good thing. heheh.  j/k!  I am feeling very  m e l l o w  right now.  :)  Well, that's about it.  It's late and I'm going to bed.  Nite y'all!

     Oh, the day after, Dr. Green calls me at home to ask how I was feeling, post-op.  I told him, other than some swelling on the left, I'm doing ok.  Then he said if I had any more ?'s to give him a call.  Isn't he the sweetest?!? :)  I'm going to go eat some soup and get some rest.  Later!